Niviene (niviene) wrote,

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Now an acquaintance

Today I realized that someone whom was once a friend is now just an acquaintance and barely one at that but that's ok. Someone, not sure who, once said "There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will."

Such as it is now with KB. Today unbeknown to me until much later, she came to visit one of our mutual friends, a co-worker, whom I often have lunch with. Co-worker has an office 5 doors down from mine. KB was there for 45 mins before they two went out to lunch but she never came by to say hi even though she was on the floor and a few seconds walk away and I was at my desk the whole time. I had no plans to go to lunch with them if that's what she was worried about I had my own plans already. KB could have at least said hi even if we're not in contact that much anymore. I gave up when after sending repeated emails and telephone calls as she would return none of them. Even my co-worker friend said she got the same treatment. We always joked when KB was ready she would resume contact with us. I figured she was busy as we all get and I'm certainly guilty of that more often than not (sorry to my peeps whom I haven't called in a while)!

When I look back on incidences I begin to see patterns of avoidance emerging long ago. I think it began when I started to work at the same company as KB not in the same dept or even floor mind you and we barely had to interact except maybe 4 times a year. She was the one who informed me of the job opportunity to boot. The company did know we were friends outside of the office but we still kept it on the down low for professional reasons at the office despite spending time either at functions or events in the same circles or with a bunch of mutual friends (later I found out she would go the events I didn't like but pretend she had not. I once saw a pic of her on someones blog when she said she didn't attend ANY events anymore. Initially, I figured maybe she didn't like the events I attended. Should have seen the red flag). She was avoiding me I guess the whole time. Why I don't truly know - there was never an argument or a falling out. I always considered us friends. I guess again I was wrong. KB once told me her best friend SD thought I was jealous of her. I know my look made her doubt that because I was thinking the whole time wtf would I want to be like you and was SD crazy and I just stared at KB in bewilderment. I felt bad about it after not that she could read my thoughts but there was nothing of this chick's life that I would even remotely covet trust me.

Anyway, once I started working at her same company it took her 3 months to even have lunch with me. I chalked it up to her being busy at the time. Now I don't think so. She never once showed me around the neighborhood either when I first started but I did that for some of the noobs that came to my dept. Mind you it may never have occur to her not that it was needed but it would have been a nice gesture of welcome.

About a year later she left the company and I found out by random chance that she worked just up the street and came to visit the girls in accounting often. I once saw her zip out the door while I was talking to the front desk guard so fast I didn't get a chance to stop her. I know she saw me and later one of the accounting girls ask if I'd seen her. On three other occasions she came by and was actually on my floor. Did she come visit - no. In fact I didn't find out until sometimes a few days or weeks afterward except once where I actually heard she was on the floor and went to say hi to her (That was the day my paternal Grandmother died....just before Christmas.) On another occasion she'd been visiting and I actually was leaving the building and she was just going down into the subway. We chatted briefly KB mentioning she had financial troubles so I figured that she was trying to deal with a lot and when she got straightened out she'd be social again. That was maybe 2 summers ago. I knew then that we'd never resume the friendship we once had but I figured we'd be cordial by at least saying hi & chat briefly if/when we saw each other. I guess I was wrong again. But still it is rude not to say hi at least even if just passing on a street or in a building or am I wrong about that too?

I am rambling...

People drift away, some stay in contact regardless, some call/email once in a blue moon but it's like they never left, while others no longer share interests and are happens to friendships a lot. We move on...such is life.

Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.

Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest... It's about who came, and never left your side...
- Unknown
Tags: friends
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